The science is in: meditation helps mental health. So why haven’t you tried it yet?

Sure, meditation at its best involves that scary thing — a habit. Like any good habit that we wish we had but haven’t gotten around to forming yet, starting a meditation practice can have its challenges. For those with mental health issues, there can be even more obstacles to overcome in terms of the motivation and executive functioning required to establish a healthy practice.

But establishing a meditation practice may be easier than you think.

Meditation is just getting its sea legs in the West, and there are still many misconceptions about how to practice it. Some of those can deter people from starting a practice.

Where do those misconceptions come from?

Conjure an image of the ideal meditator in your mind. Did you picture someone sitting cross-legged, eyes closed and face placid, hands palm up on the knees? Maybe they’re sitting alone on an empty beach at sunset? And if you could peer inside their mind, you’d find it as empty and serene as the endless sky above them, right?

Or maybe you pictured a stoic monk adorned with robes and a shaved head, in the midst of a 10-year meditation alone in a cave in Burma?

Whatever you pictured, odds are you hit on one of the popular stereotypes surrounding meditation. But is that really how people meditate?

Let’s be real. Who has daily access to that beautiful white sand beach? How many of us (in the West, at least) can take a decade-long sabbatical to meditate in a cave? The truth is that meditation rarely looks like the idealized scenes described above, and it doesn’t need to be to derive benefits from it.

As it turns out, it’s easier than you think to start meditating in a way that works for you.

Below are nine misconceptions about meditation and explanations of how you can make meditation easier for you.

1. You think your mind must be clear and empty

I hear it all the time from reluctant meditators: “my mind is too busy”, “I could never quiet my mind enough to meditate.”

I’m not sure where the image of the serene, thought-free meditator we all know so well came from, but it does a great disservice to the practice.

Thinking is just fine as long as you’re mindful of your thoughts.

The brain is built to think, there’s no turning it off! While some days our minds are quieter than other days, a totally “clear mind” is absolutely not a prerequisite for meditation.

And so that’s the good news–thinking is just fine as long as you’re mindful of your thoughts.

The bad news is… you have to listen to your thoughts.

Yes, sit alone with only your mind and you WILL see how busy your mind is. That can make meditation challenging some days, but it doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong.

As much as you might want your inner critic to can it already, allowing the presence of thoughts without judgment is the move — not pushing them away to achieve a mythical “empty mind.”

It may help to remember there are two parts to mindfulness: awareness and acceptance.

Try to be with your mind just as it is.

2. You’re uncomfortable

Sore backs and reluctant knees rejoice! You don’t have to sit on the floor in full lotus in order to do it “right.”

The three positions recommended by most meditation teachers are sitting upright in a comfortable but alert posture, standing, or lying down. Walking meditation is another common form, and great for those who might struggle to sit still.

But the biggest secret? You can sit in a chair!

Younger folks might be able to sit with a straight back for hours with no back support, but my knees and back are passed that point. These days my cushion gets used for only the shortest of meditation sessions. There’s absolutely no shame in using a chair or even lying in bed.

The only caveat here is to avoid getting so comfy you fall asleep (unless of course, that’s your goal!) Mindfulness meditation does require a certain degree of alertness after all.

As meditators we try to accept whatever is happening in our body during meditation without judgment. That said, it’s difficult to focus on the breath if you’re twisted so far into a pretzel that you can’t breathe.

Any position in which you’re generally comfortable and able to breathe freely will help you relax and in turn, find the inner stillness you seek.

3. You think you don’t have the time

You don’t have to meditate for several hours a day to gain benefits.

Some would say they agree with this idea, but still cling to the “if some is good, more is better” approach. And while there may be some truth to that, it’s not a linear relationship.

Even a minute of mindfulness can change the course of your day.

A good way to look at meditation is to compare it to physical exercise, and in fact, they have many parallels.

Cultivating mindfulness, concentration, compassion and other skills really is brain training. And as with physical exercise, every minute counts and more isn’t always better. Even a minute of mindfulness can change the course of your day.

Of course, this one is highly subjective. Some people simply enjoy long, punishing exercise sessions while others prefer the take-the-stairs approach; likewise, some claim to get more out of longer meditation sessions, while others need or prefer shorter sessions.

There’s also more than one approach to the frequency of meditation.

Many meditators swear by daily practice, even twice-daily or more, while many others argue for a less punishing “daily-ish” approach… The latter stresses that it’s because of the tendency to beat yourself up for missing a day if you hold to the streak approach; less stringency allows for self-compassion.

In this, I say go with whatever method motivates you and contributes to your success, whatever that looks like. If a strict daily regime is your thing, go for it and don’t break the streak! But if consistency isn’t your thing, aim for dailyish and squeeze it in when you can.

There’s certainly wiggle room to make your practice your own.

4. You keep daydreaming (and you think that’s a bad thing)

The ever-present problem with watching your thoughts is their seductive quality.

You’re meditating, focusing on the breath… when perhaps minutes go by and you suddenly realize you’ve been thinking about how you might rearrange the living room furniture. You immediately reestablish focus on the breath, but not without a subtle dose of self-criticism. “Damn, I keep getting distracted,” or “not again!”

The reality is that you’ll get lost many, many times while meditating. But this doesn’t have to be a bad thing, and judging yourself for “mistakes” is counterproductive.

Every time you get lost, notice, and come back to the breath, you’re building the muscle of awareness.

Instead, celebrate that moment you realize you’re lost as a moment of mindfulness — you noticed that you’re thinking! This is exactly why we practice, to wake up from the constant stream of narrative in our heads.

Let’s return to the exercise analogy: every time you get lost, notice, and come back to the breath, you’re building the muscle of awareness. My favorite TV anchor/meditation evangelist Dan Harris likes to call this a “bicep curl for the brain.”

Even more encouraging is that treating the moment as a positive not only removes the self-judgment, it could set up a feedback loop in the brain; by “rewarding” yourself with praise, you reinforce the habit of waking up from your thoughts, encouraging the brain to learn to do it again.

5. You think it takes too long to get enlightened

Some people envision meditation as the path that leads to the eventual goal of enlightenment.

What exactly enlightenment even means is a topic for another post, but suffice to say many view it as the ultimate goal or destination, that if they practice enough, they can attain this state.

While that may be true, remember that enlightenment isn’t the only reason to practice meditation! The practice itself provides a wealth of benefits and can be it’s own end.

By Zen tradition the mind is inherently enlightened from day one — you just have to realize your true “Buddha-nature.”

However, if enlightenment is your thing, know that there’s more than one school of thought about how to get there.

By Zen tradition, for example, the mind is inherently enlightened from day one — you just have to realize your true “Buddha-nature.” The mind can be buried under “defilements” that one must remove to uncover their true nature, but ultimately it’s about recognizing that you already have everything you need.

Without the right attitude, seeking enlightenment or even just striving to be a better person through meditation can paradoxically backfire.

If mindfulness meditation is about accepting and welcoming the present moment just as it is, then a desire for anything “other” than that can be seen as an aversion to the present. Instead, it’s about uncovering what is already there, fully formed within you; you lack nothing.

6. You haven’t tried other ways to meditate

Tired or bored of counting your breath? Mix it up with different kinds of meditations.

Meditation has been practiced by countless people in countless cultures over the last several thousand years, and there’s no single right way to do it.

Mindfulness meditation is probably the most common, typically focusing on the breath as the object of concentration. But within the sphere of mindfulness meditation, one can change the object to other sensations in the body, such as with body scans.

For this kind of meditation, you observe the feeling in your toes, sometimes clenching and releasing them, then extend your awareness to the feet, then the legs, etc., until you’re aware of your entire body as a whole. It’s a fantastic practice for relaxation or before going to sleep.

Another type of meditation is called open awareness, where instead of focusing on a single object, your attention is broadened to include your entire experience with sights, sounds, sensations, etc.

Besides mindfulness, another great type of meditation for beginners or advanced alike (and particularly salient in these tumultuous times) is called metta or loving-kindness meditation, in which one cultivates the skills of compassion for others as well as the self.

7. You think guided meditations don’t count

If you’re a beginner, you may have listened to guided meditations; there’s probably millions of them available between apps such as Headspace and Ten Percent Happier, YouTube or the website of your favorite meditation instructor.

But is a guided meditation “cheating?”

This depends entirely on your mindset. As a beginner, I found guided meditations much easier to digest than silent sessions in my own head. With periodic reminders from the teacher, I found it easier to concentrate.

Others may prefer the silence; guided meditations can be distracting to some. But these meditation sessions still cultivate the same skills learned in non-guided meditation, so they shouldn’t be seen as a cop-out.

8. You think it has to be quiet

Most people probably prefer a quiet, private space in which to meditate; after all, why invite distractions into a concentration practice?

It’s not about shutting out the noise to find the peace, it’s about finding peace amid the noise.

However, one of the most highly valued skills honed by meditation is that of equanimity. The definition is, “mental calmness, composure, and evenness of temper, especially in a difficult situation.”

This is the real superpower gained through meditation: it’s not about shutting out the noise to find the peace, it’s about finding peace amid the noise, or in a sense even making peace with the noise.

One of the most important aspects of mindfulness is not just awareness but acceptance of the present moment. Being okay with things as they are instead of wishing they were otherwise.

So the next time your silent meditation is interrupted by the construction noise next door or the kids screaming at each other outside your door, try to channel your inner mighty oak tree, standing tall amidst the howling tempest.

9. You think you have to be spiritual to meditate

Meditation only asks that you be open to and accepting of your own inner experience.

While it may be commonly associated with Buddhism and eastern religions, meditation itself can be practiced in an entirely secular way. You don’t need to believe in reincarnation, be “spiritual” in any way or adopt any beliefs.

Meditation only asks that you be open to and accepting of your own inner experience.

In this way, anyone can practice meditation: Buddhists or Catholics, atheists and devout alike; with no religious principles of its own, meditation causes no conflicts of interest.

In the end, make it your own

It’s the year 2020, and we’re definitely not in Burma anymore: forget about serene empty beaches and flowing robes, and make meditation your own.

Throw on a comfy sweatshirt, grab your favorite meditation app, hop in your recliner and meditate… even if it’s just for a minute.

What about you? What ways have you had to adapt your practice to fit your life? How much did it change in 2020? Leave me a comment below!