It’s all about your point of view.

It’s undeniable we can all use a dose of calm sanity right now. 

We’re bored, and we’re stressed. We’re also playing a lot of video games—64% of adults reported playing video games on a regular basis in 2019, according to ESA, and it’s certainly increased since the pandemic hit. When asked the reasons they game, the answer was unsurprising: it’s because we’re bored and we’re stressed! 80% of gamers cited mental stimulation and relaxation as the reasons they played. Initiatives like #PlayApartTogether support the idea that gaming is good for us in a time when many are still stuck inside and isolated. Video games can connect us to others and lift our mood, something everyone could benefit from right now.

But here’s a different way playing video games might just help you hone your skills in mindfulness, another proven mood-booster.

What’s your point of view?

Character-based video games are generally designed with a particular point of view (POV), in other words, where the “camera” is placed relative to your character. First-person games are played through the eyes of the character being controlled as if the camera were glued to his/her/it’s forehead.  From the first-person perspective, you are this character. First-person shooter (FPS) games like Call of Duty, Halo or Overwatch are probably the most familiar type of game with this perspective.

A third-person game pulls back the view so that the camera is above or behind the character you’re controlling. From this view you’re still controlling the character, but your POV isn’t the character’s… it’s yours, as you watch the character. Think Animal Crossing, Fortnite, or almost every Mario game ever made.

Of course not all video games force you to choose one point of view: in many games, you can freely switch between first- and third-person. 

It turns out, we can do this in real life, too.

Our human superpower

Humans are uniquely capable of the skill of meta-awareness, or being aware of being aware. In video game terms, having meta-awareness is like switching to the “third-person view.” If we use this skill throughout our daily lives, we’re able to observe our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors in real-time.

Can you imagine the power controlling your actions as you carry them out, instead of living on autopilot? To think before you decide to let loose with that cutting remark you’ll instantly regret? To stop before you click “buy now” on that thing you want but can’t afford? Meta-awareness really is a superpower. 

Of course, we all know that we have this power, but most of us rarely use it.

We spend most of our lives in first-person, as the protagonists (or sometimes the antagonist) of our own game of life. Often the only time we switch to the third person is when we ruminate over mistakes we’ve made in the past, wishing we knew then what we know now. We even lament this fact, with sayings like “hindsight is twenty-twenty.” We sometimes assume we can only see clearly when we look to the past. 

But we can improve our view of the present. We can practice switching to the third person by practicing meta-awareness. Or even better, mindfulness.

Level up to mindfulness

What’s the difference between meta-awareness and mindfulness? Meta-awareness (or meta-cognition) is sometimes used interchangeably with mindfulness, but they’re not quite synonymous. Mindfulness includes meta-awareness, but it also includes acceptance of the present moment without judgment.

I was initially skeptical about mindfulness. It’s pervaded every facet of our culture it seems, becoming one of those somewhat annoying buzzwords of the booming wellness industry. The result when this happens is usually a watered-down version of the thing, lacking depth and purity and rife with misunderstandings. My now-favorite meditation evangelist Dan Harris even questioned whether the “McMindfulness trend” was going too far.

But thanks in large part to Harris’s books and podcast, I managed to get past the hype and discover why everyone wants to jump on the mindfulness bandwagon: it works.

On days I can remember to practice it, observing my thoughts and actions can really help to improve my mood and interactions with others. I think in time that meditation and/or mindfulness will become as important for our mental health as exercise is to our physical health. In some ways, mindfulness has helped me far more than any pill ever did.

That’s saying a lot considering I have treatment-resistant depression. And because I do, I understand that not everything that “works” works for everyone. But you need to try it to find out.

Train beyond the cushion

Meditation—as in an actual sitting practice—is a great way to cultivate mindfulness skills. But it’s not the only way to train your brain. After all, meditators don’t practice to get better at meditating; we practice to get better at life.

Therefore, if meditation isn’t your thing, it’s fine to skip straight to more “free-range” mindfulness. Forget about hours on the cushion, and try to focus on mindful moments throughout the day.

Of course, the trick of free-range mindfulness is remembering to do it. In fact, directly translated, the Pali word for mindfulness, sati, really means “to remember.” Any method that helps you pause periodically for a few seconds will work, but for the chronically forgetful (like me), here are a few ideas:

• Alarms or reminders on your phone
• Apps that send reminders at random times: I use Yapp, which sends me random custom reminders throughout the day
• Create your own mental trigger by associating a mindfulness moment with something you do often, such as walking through a doorway 
• Have your favorite digital assistant remind you 
• Good old-fashioned sticky notes (great if you’re a visual person)

Simple third-person mindfulness practice 

Throughout your day, see how many times you can pan back the camera and just notice (without commentary!) It only takes a moment or two to do one or all of the following, as needed:

• Observe your body:
  • How does it feel right now? Is there pain? Tension? Relaxation?
• Observe your emotions:
  • Check in with your mood. How do you feel? Do you know why you feel this way?
• Observe your thoughts:
  • What things are you saying to yourself? Are these things true? Are they in perspective?
• Observe your behavior:
  • What are you doing right now? Does it serve your goals and values?
• Observe your conversations:
  • What are you talking about and who are you talking to? Try to think before speaking, and don’t forget to listen.